You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
