It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
