Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
