I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
