I've blown a few things in my day
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize