why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
