i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
