Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
