I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize