marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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