Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
