like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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