legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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