Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
