im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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