I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
