Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
