Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
