he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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