And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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