I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
