He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
