Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
