Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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