if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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