i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
