I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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