how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
