Don't you send me to vm
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
