That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
