Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
