she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
