Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
