fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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