I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
