thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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