my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
