Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
