do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
