I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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