We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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