Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
