I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
