yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize