So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
