I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
