And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
