gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
