hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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