so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
