It's just like the Real World with babies
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
