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its not stalking. its research.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
