There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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