I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
