Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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