Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
