Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
