Sacagawea was the original milf.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
