and you said cock pushups were impossible
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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