Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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