Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
